An honest personal observation
This is a personal record, not medical advice or a promise that anyone else will have the same experience.
My first attempts did not feel pleasurable. They felt unfamiliar, awkward, and close to the sensation of needing a bowel movement. If you feel pain, unusual discomfort, or become unwell, stop. There is no reason to force progress.
In 2021, I had more time to look inward
When remote work increased during the pandemic, I spent more time at home. That gave me room to think about interests I had previously ignored.
I had long suspected that I had a submissive side. Conventional adult experiences were not necessarily bad, but I often left with the feeling that something was missing. I could not explain exactly what I wanted. I only felt that there might be another kind of pleasure I had not understood yet.
While researching, I encountered the idea of a dry orgasm: an orgasm without ejaculation. I read descriptions of full-body sensations and repeated peaks, but I had no idea whether any of that was possible for me.
My first reaction was discomfort, not pleasure
The first strong sensation I noticed was pressure. It felt much closer to a bowel movement than to pleasure.
I remember wondering how anyone could interpret it as enjoyable. My body did not respond in the dramatic way I had read about, and I mostly felt confused.
Still, I left with a stubborn thought: I did not want that confusing first attempt to be the end of the story. The lack of pleasure made me feel that I was standing in front of something I had not learned to recognize.
Why I continued
I did not continue because it already felt good. I continued because curiosity was stronger than the frustration.
Over time, I became less alarmed by the unfamiliar pressure. I paid more attention to relaxation, breathing, concentration, and the difference between discomfort and pain. Progress was slow and inconsistent.
Around two months later, I experienced a session at the M-kansen venue where my whole body began to respond differently. It was difficult to describe, but it was the first time I felt certain that the sensations could develop into something more.
Around the three-month point, I experienced my first clear dry orgasm at the venue and reached a clear orgasm at home during the same period. Reproducing the experience was not easy, and consistency is still something I am developing.
What I would tell a beginner
Not feeling pleasure immediately does not mean you have failed. At the same time, persistence should never mean ignoring pain or forcing your body.
Cleanliness, sufficient water-based lubricant, patience, and stopping when something feels wrong are more important than chasing a result. If you experience strong pain, bleeding, fever, or difficulty urinating, seek medical care.
For me, the most useful change was learning to treat the process as observation rather than a test I had to pass.
This remains one person’s experience. Your body, interests, and limits may be different.